watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
