Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
