Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
