No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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