that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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