Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
