best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
