i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
zippers are such a cool invention
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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