Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
