I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
