dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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