I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
