The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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