You really coming over, don't trick.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
