Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
