id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
