We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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