Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
