It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
