i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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