Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
