Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
