i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
