I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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