i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
