If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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