you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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