Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
