this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Oh god it's open bar.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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