Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
