It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
