If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
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