Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
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