well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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