i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
