I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
And then he peed in my hair
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