Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
