Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
