A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So here I am, sexting at work.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
