I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
