i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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