Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
