i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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