I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
