I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
