we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
