yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
