a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
