My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
