The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
