omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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