I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
