Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize