my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
