If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
