I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
