Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
