I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
