i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
