You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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