my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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