I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
