8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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