1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm passing your future prison.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
